Stacey Hagen is a marketing and visibility coach for purpose-driven coaches, healers, and creatives who want to share their soul gifts with the world and make a positive impact. Through a mix of coaching, consulting, strategy, and somatics, Stacey guides her clients through the inner and outer work of truly getting visible in business, so they can show up confidently, connect with those they are meant to serve, and do more of what they love.
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37# Getting Visible as a Highly Sensitive Person - Stacey Hagen
Rose: Hey, it's Rose and welcome to another episode of the Sensitive CEO Show. And in this week's episode, it's my pleasure to introduce you to Stacy Hagan. And Stacy is a marketing and visibility coach, and today she's going to talk to us all about getting visible as a highly sensitive person. So welcome Stacy.
Stacey: Thanks so much for having me, rose. It's such a pleasure to speak with you.
Rose: It's so lovely to talk to you today too, and I would love for you to share with the audience a bit about your background and what got you into what you are doing now.
Stacey: Sure. Yeah. So, like you said, I'm a marketing invisibility coach.
Prior to this I had a very long career in marketing. Basically since college I've been in a marketing role. And, around 2014, I decided to go to coach training and become a certified coach, and after that I was exploring coaching and decided to combine my background in marketing with my new coaching certification and really focus on helping entrepreneurs in this area of marketing and visibility that so many are challenged with.
Rose: Love that, and I think we're similar in the way that we both found coaching and just loved it. And then wanted to share our unique gifts that, you know, yours is marketing and mine's mindset and technology and all those wonderful things. Are you, did you always know you were highly sensitive or is this a new discovery for you?
Stacey: It was a recent discovery, I think. I can't remember when I did discover this, it was for sure within the last like five to 10 years. . I had heard the term and my ears perked up and then I read Elaine Aaron's book and I was. Oh, this makes so much sense. And it's interesting because I kind of thought, oh, everyone operates this way.
Right? And then the book made me see, oh no, this is a very specific type of person that operates this way. And it really has changed. It's made a lot of things make sense in my life, and it's really changed how I do business too.
Rose: . Yeah, same here. I only discovered it a couple of years ago and everything just fell into place. It was like, wow. I used to think that I was a bit different from others and. Things like, especially visibility. I think we were sharing before we, we recorded that a lot of my clients struggle with visibility. And it's something I struggled with for so many years.
I was so good at hiding behind other people or hiding behind my computer when I had my web business. All I liked doing was coding websites. So I didn't actually have to be visible on social media or even networking events, to be honest.
Stacey: Yeah. Yeah, same with me. I mean, I worked in marketing, but I was marketing other companies and other companies, products and services, so I never had to be the face or the voice.
I was just writing and creating marketing for other people, which was so much easier.
Rose: And do you work specifically with highly sensitive people?
Stacey: Yeah. Many of my clients are highly sensitive. maybe not all, but a good majority I would say are highly sensitive. And it's interesting because sometimes they're aware of it and sometimes they're not.
And it's something that we uncover when we're working together.
Rose: It's, it's wonderful, isn't it? Being able to uncover that. I, I know when I discovered all of the clients I was working with at the time, there were, five or six, I think, and they were all highly sensitive and I shared with them the experience that I had about discovering, and I'd also read Elaine Aaron's book, so I was able to share that and other resources with them, and it made such a difference for them as well.
Stacey: Yeah, I think it's so validating, you know, just as it was validating for me, it's validating for them to know like, oh, there's, there's, you know, other people feel like this and there's a reason behind it and it just kind of helps you make sense of it all.
Rose: Yeah. Yeah. So I would love to ask you why visibility is so difficult for us as highly sensitive people.
Stacey: Yeah. I think it's difficult for a few reasons. You know, speaking just about highly sensitives, a lot of it is the energetic drain that comes from being visible. Like especially on platforms like social media, when you know, there's this pressure to show up and to be on video and to share your voice or even to post regularly, like it's a lot of pressure.
And also the platform itself is very, very noisy. Yeah. So, you know, as a highly sensitive person, it's very easy for me to get distracted by what other people are saying or doing, and totally lose my focus about, you know, what, what did I even open this app to do? And then, you know, it can also be very draining to maybe, you know, not see the results you want.
If you feel like you posted something really valuable, but you're not seeing the likes or comments. You know, worse than that if you get a troll commenting. So all of that can be super, super draining. And I think that is one reason, you know, when highly sensitives get visible, it's really good to have ways to manage and protect your energy so you can do so in a way that you can manage and you can find ways to support yourself so you don't burn out because you don't wanna burn out simply on getting visible, right? I mean, you have so much to do in your business. So it's really learning how to protect your energy in that way.
Rose: So what are some tips that you could share with everyone today? Some good ways to protect our energy?
Stacey: Yeah, I think there are, there are a lot of ways you can go about it, both kind of energetically and practically, from, from an energetic standpoint, sometimes what I will do is I'll just take a moment to get really centered in my body and, and feel really grounded and think about, okay, how do I wanna show up online?
What energy am I bringing today? I also sometimes will imagine myself in a bubble, and I choose whatever color feels good to me, and I imagine my energy is like protected in that bubble. So when I open an app or I go online, anything that comes at me will just bounce off. So those are some kind of energetic tools I use.
And then just practically, I take a moment to think. Why am I going on Instagram before I open the app? Right? What am I sharing? Am I going to engage? Like, what is the purpose? And then I also try to be very mindful of the time I spend. Honestly, I don't spend more than 10 minutes at a time on social media.
And again, that's more about, you know, putting the boundaries in place and holding yourself accountable as.
Rose: Yeah, I love that. I love that. Having just the 10 minutes and that's something I stick to as well. And I only. I try to only go on twice a day, once sort of around mid-morning or late morning and then one in the evening, but outside of those times, it's just no go.
And not on the weekends either.
Stacey: Yes, I love that. Taking the weekends off, I've been doing that too, and it really has just changed everything for me.
Rose: And I love that you've got a bubble too. I have a bubble that I bring up every morning around my computer and my workspace, and then I let it down in the evening or afternoon.
Yes. Whenever I finish work.
Stacey: Yeah. It's such, it's such a great visual and it, it, it really works, you know, whether you're doing it like before client calls or on social media or wherever you do it.
Rose: Yeah. It's so beautiful. It's something I teach my clients in my business school as well. I've got a special little energetic protection training in there for them too, which is so helpful for us.
Someone shared it with me a while ago and I've used it, so it's something I wanted to pass on.
Stacey: Yeah, that's wonderful.
Rose: Yeah. What other tips have you got for people who do find themselves getting distracted on social media?
Stacey: Yeah, I think, one thing that can help with distraction is simply having a plan and having a strategy.
So you don't wake up every day thinking, oh, I, I need to post something. Or, it's been a while since I shared. You actually have a plan and have a strategy, and even better, the better. is to make it even more effective, you can preschedule content, you know, whether you're using Facebook or native platforms or even a platform like Later, so you can plan in advance.
And I find that makes such a big difference for me if I can plan my content in advance. And then when I show up online, it's simply to engage.
Rose: Yeah. That's brilliant. I love that. And I love to preschedule as well. I find that really useful and to write my posts in advance. And I find if I, if I'm writing them on the day, it's just, it's all too much and I feel a bit stressed.
So I know when I prepare, we were talking about preparation again before we recorded . And I think it's a highly sensitive thing to be prepared. It really helps our nervous systems.
Stacey: Yes. I was just thinking it must help us regulate our nervous systems, and honestly, it's so, it's so worth it to make things like this easier in your business, you know, to automate what you can, to plan ahead so you're not stressed out by these things.
Rose: Yeah, definitely. Now, back to visibility. Why, why would you say is visibility so necessary? When you know about sharing so we can share our gifts and our talents with our audience.
Stacey: Yeah, I think visibility is really, and, and when I talk about visibility, it's not just social media, but it's about. Putting yourself out there.
So there are a ton of ways you can get visible. Social media is a way, podcasts are a way, speaking engagements are a way. SEO is a way. So there are a lot of ways we can kind of elevate our voice and put ourselves out there. But we do need ways to get visible so that people can hear about us, so that people know what we do, and so that our ideal clients can find us.
Rose: Yeah, that's so true, isn't it? I know. I used to think people would find me, but how, how silly was that?
Stacey: Oh my gosh. I feel the, that myth, like if I build it, they will come, is such a strong one in the coaching industry. Like we, and I expected this too, like I just, my website live and all the people will show up and it doesn't really work that way, unfortunately.
Rose: It's funny, isn't it? I know sometimes I've, I've posted on social media and I think, oh, what will people think? I've just posted that, but then in reality, not many people would actually even see it.
Stacey: Yeah. I mean, that is the other thing about social. We, we don't have control of the algorithm, so we probably, there's a small fraction of people who are even seeing what we post, so that's why we have to be even more visible and and it's a good reason not to stress so much about it.
Rose: Yeah, that's so true. It's something I remind myself when I post if I don't really worry so much now, but I used to, but if I do, I just think, well, no one's really gonna, well, I know people will see it, but not that many people. It's not like the whole world's going to see it.
Stacey: Yeah, and I think it's important to remember that people, aren't thinking about us as much as we fear that they are, right. I mean, everyone has their own stuff going on. . They're all probably worried about their own social media feed.
Rose: That's so true. Yeah. So, Stacy, what are some ways that we can get visible that are reliant with us being an HSP or an or an introvert?
Stacey: Yeah. I think no matter, no matter who you are, and whether you're highly sensitive or an introvert or an empath, it's really important to know your own strengths, and use your strengths to get visible in a way that works for you. So if you love, having conversations is a great way to get visible.
You know, if you love writing, there's so much you can do with blog posts and SEO and guest posting. You know, and if you love more visual platforms, you know, those are great for showcasing your work too. So I would say knowing your strengths is number one for anyone. And then secondly, I would say, you know, don't try to be everywhere.
Don't try to do everything. Choose even three strategies, three ways you're going to get visible and focus on those and just kind of put blinders on. Don't worry about everyone else being on a different platform. Just focus on, you know, your core visibility, strategies. And then the last tip I would give is, you know, don't be afraid to take baby steps.
Like it is terrifying to do your first live video. It is terrifying to go live in a Facebook group, and so being able to take tiny baby steps can make it easier. I mean, one thing I did when I was terrified to go live in my own Facebook group for a very long time, and I started a private Facebook group just with a friend so I could practice going live and have someone give me feedback.
And that was the first baby step I took. And now I have no problems, you know, going live on Facebook or Instagram.
Rose: Oh, I love that. And you were one step ahead of me. I had a Facebook group that was just me when yeah, when I wanted to go live. It just sort of got me into, I guess, using the phone or the desktop and just getting used to being on camera cuz I was so frightened and I was actually challenged by a coach to do 90 days of going live.
Wow. This was about two, maybe three years ago now. And I. I really didn't think I'd be able to do it, but I took baby steps. I just did it every day and I started off doing pretty small lives and after probably. Three or four days, I started getting into the rhythm of it and I started feeling comfortable with it.
I haven't actually gone live for quite a few months now, so I probably should do it again. Otherwise I might have forgotten how to do it or how to feel confident with it, but yeah. Yeah, it's definitely baby steps.
Stacey: Yeah, baby steps and like you mentioned too consistency. Because I always feel like it's kind of like a muscle and you're like strengthening the muscle every time you're showing up.
And so if you can keep that up in whatever cadence works for you, it's, you just stop sweating it so much.
Rose: Yeah. It's amazing. I know the first day that I did it, I was, I was shaking, I was so nervous and I had, my palms were all sweaty and I was, it was just quite a scary experience, which is silly. It was only me on the computer like this.
But when I did it, it was only, I think one or two minutes, that very first one. But after I did it, I felt so elated and so yes, excited, and I went running outta my office and said to my husband, I did it. I did it. And then the next day I was still a bit nervous and shaky and sweaty, but it just got easier and yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? That's what we can, what we can do. And I guess another thing I'd love is to turn that fear into excitement, which is what I kept telling my brain. It's like, I'm not scared, I'm excited.
Stacey: Yes. I've read that somewhere like, anxiety and excitement are basic, like two sides of the same coin.
So how can you tap into that excitement? And I think you brought up a really good point with that exhilaration too, like, You, you are accomplishing something when you overcome a fear like this and it feels really good. Yes. And so, you know, visibility can feel really good too.
Rose: It can. Absolutely. Are there any final tips on getting visible for our audience?
Stacey: Yeah, I guess I would just say you. It's normal to feel uncomfortable. I mean, plenty of extroverts don't, and extroverts and non highly sensitive people also don't feel comfortable getting visible. Right? So it's normal to feel an amount of discomfort.
It's also. It's also a new thing, so just don't be afraid to, you know, give yourself permission to experiment a bit, to take baby steps and to just get visible in a way that feels good for you versus, you know, a way that someone has told you you should be getting visible.
Rose: Wonderful. And I know that you've got a free guide that you share with everyone on the fear of being seen.
Can you talk a little bit about that, Stacey?
Stacey: Yeah, so I have just created a new free guide on how to manage the fear of being seen, and I created it because it was one of my most popular blog posts and also something I love to talk about. So I put together, you know, five tips that are kind of a mix of the strategy, the energetic, and even a somatic tip, so that you can really support yourself to get visible in a way that feels good for you.
Rose: Wonderful, and I'll pop a link in the show notes and also a link to all of your other places, your website, your LinkedIn. Are you on Instagram as well?
Stacey: Yeah, I'm on Instagram too.
Rose: Great. I'll pop all of those links below. And one final question before I let you go. When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?
Stacey: Yeah, such a good question. I try to stop what I'm doing and do something totally different. And actually, this just happened to me yesterday. I was writing a blog post and I was feeling very overwhelmed, and I noticed the rumination happening, and I decided to step away from my desk, get out of my office.
I went outside. I did something else for half an hour, and I came back and I just had a. Mindset. I, I couldn't even remember what I was spinning my wheels about. So I think just taking yourself out of that situation and doing something totally different, whether it's going outside, going for a walk, petting your pet, you know, and then coming back just can refresh your mind.
Rose: Love that. Brilliant, brilliant advice. Well, thank you so much, Stacey. It's been wonderful talking with you today.
Stacey: Yeah, thanks so much, Rose.
Rose: And thanks everyone for tuning into another episode. We'll see you next week.