Maria Hill is the founder of Sensitive Evolution, and the author of The Emerging Sensitive: A Guide For Finding Your Place In The World.
Sensitive Evolution focuses on making participation in the world easier and more joyful for sensitive people by teaching the cultural and other frameworks sensitive people need to be autonomous and effective.
The website offers an online library, blog, newsletter, books, and other resources including the Emerging Sensitive Program and the Magic of Joy Manifesting Community.
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Ep#6_The Power and Fun of Reframing with Maria Hill
[00:00:00] Rose: Hey, it's Rose and welcome to another episode on the Sensitive CEO Show. And in this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with Maria Hill about the power and fun of reframing. Maria is the founder of sensitive evolution, which focuses on making participation in the world easier and more joyful for sensitive people.
By teaching the cultural and other frameworks, sensitive people need to be autonomous and effective. So welcome to the show today, Maria. It's lovely to talk to you again.
[00:00:40] Maria: Thank you. Yeah, it's good to talk with you also, and thank you for inviting
me. Oh, you're most welcome.
[00:00:46] Rose: And before we dive into your topic, I'd love you to share a little bit about what you do with everyone.
[00:00:54] Maria: I have a different approach to working with sensitivity from what other people may do since I'm not a therapist. And, my perception has been that sensitive people need to own their energy. And they need to learn how to control it and direct it in a very conscious way.
And that's hard to do. . So, I provide the frameworks that give them a conceptual understanding of why they're having difficulty with their energy. And then, I provide the practices that help them shift their energy use. One of the challenges I think of being sensitive is that we connect with so many different kinds of energy, and we can get stuck in them.
You manifest from where your energy is. So, if you don't figure out a way of dealing with the fact that a lot of the energies in the world are, are unhealthy, uh, and, uh, figure out a way of interacting that is beneficial to. You and others, you, you're going to be bogged down, and you're going to stay bogged down, and that's not a pleasant place to live from.
So I like to clear out all of the stuff that is not ours. I do clear, not just negative beliefs, but inherited belief systems, uh, through quantum healing. That's one thing I do. Uh, but also, you need to have the conceptual understanding because we're going through this big shift in the world, and this shift is taking us out.
Thousands of years of authoritarian and hierarchical systems into something new. And the reactions, of course, are pretty negative for that by many people. And you still somehow have to get through this, and you want to show up and participate in a good way. So how do you do that as a sensitive person?
It's tough to maintain your own centre in spite of all of this, but there are ways of doing it. And that's what I work to help people to.
[00:03:04] Rose: . . I love that. That's as you say, there's so much going on right now, and I think we are as sensitive people. We're very, very affected by the energies around us.
[00:03:15] Maria: Yeah. And a lot of it is very; it’s kind of sad sometimes to see some of the negative reactions to life-improving yes, know you said people, we wanna improve things. No, that's the reaction you get. You say, wow. That’s a little baffling, yes, isn't it? But it does happen quite a bit.
[00:03:35] Rose: yeah, it seems to be people, possibly a bit set in their ways and used to, used to how things are.
[00:03:44] Maria: but there's also a lot of fear that people have around change. And in, I think you do notice as you try to release the old ways, you will notice, you know, uh, that some things will come up and, you know, you do have to work them through. So we have to do our emotional labour. And I think we must also learn to let others do theirs.
That will help many things just to let everybody do their emotional labour.
[00:04:14] Rose: yeah, I totally agree. So you've got quite a different approach to reframing. I'd love you to share your approach, Maria, please.
[00:04:25] Maria: Okay, I’ll give you an example so we can talk about it.
So I have this one, reframe that in one of my communities, uh, sessions resonated with people, and it was co-dependency puts you in the position of having to defend others from yourself. And that includes the best in you. And that's where all the shame comes from. So I think that kind of a reframe is important because so often, when people reframe, they may have had messages of they're not being okay or inadequate, and then they try to reframe.
I am inadequate, and that just leaves it at a personal level. And a lot of the difficulties people have are not necessarily personal. And it's a dynamic within our system, particularly during these times of change; I think it's always been there, but many of the problems people have are created systemically.
So codependency comes from hierarchical systems, and we've had hierarchical systems for thousands of years and people have adapted to them and created strategies for living with them. But codependency is a kind of protection racket. If you protect me from you and what you want and who you are, then we will allow you to be, or to be included or whatever.
So it's a kind of protection racket. So basically, you have to sacrifice who you are. You have to sacrifice many of your needs, wishes, and desires to survive within codependent systems. But this kind of a reframe helps you to understand this. It isn’t just some people’s pleasing fault in you. You know, because we often frame these things as a personal fault, did not really, these are strategies that people have evolved just to survive in very hostile, toxic codependent systems.
So we don't want to look at ourselves as these weak people pleasers. I don't think that's helpful. I think it's wrong. But we can begin to understand what we are dealing with and then say, okay, take a step back and say now, what do I need to change? What do I need to do with my energy?
What do I want to change in my life? Maybe I do need to be self-employed because there's too much of this in the workplace. That can be one option. A lot of sensitive people do that, but you know, that can come out of taking a step back and having a fuller picture of what's going on with a particular issue.
[00:06:59] Maria: And so reframing to include the cultural aspect is important. Because otherwise, you're going to be blaming yourself, and you'll also have difficulty setting your boundaries. There may be times when you do have to give in because it's not practical for you not to, but there may be times when you don't have to give in.
And it's good to be aware of those times also, and taking a step back and understanding what you're up against makes it easier for you to say, okay, I'm going to create a process where I'm going to go from where I am. To hear where I'm not subjected to so much abuse it's going to be a process. It always is.
And so, and, and also in these particular times, understanding the degree to which we are challenging ancient systems, that our codependent makes it easier for us to detach to accept that there's going to be a lot of noise and anger around it and worse and detach from that. And then focus our energy where we are.
So when I look at reframing, I'm looking to do all of that so that people feel I take away some of the what's wrong with me stuff, and it lets you shift into thinking in terms of possibilities. Yeah. So you're not so disempowered because these systems are disempowering. They basically make you feel that it's inevitable that, you know, there's nothing you can do, you know, and all that kind of thing, that kind of negativity, it's very hard to deal with.
And unless you have perspective about it, you may not pick yourself up and say, okay, I'm gonna figure out a different way. You may not realise it's possible to do that. Yeah. We have a certain war going on in Eastern Europe where they don't buy into the idea of inevitability. And it is something that does get sold by authoritarian systems, uh, that, you know, certain things are inevitable and you don't have a choice.
And so when choice gets taken away from people, you know, they get depressed. So we want to put choice back in there, but we want to be very informed so that we know how to make wise choices and healthy choices and feel hopeful, even though it may take time for you to get where you need to go.
You know, you need to know that there is hope.
[00:09:22] Rose: it's. It sounds like you're taking power back within yourself?
[00:09:30] Maria: . Yes, keeping your energy inside of you, that's important to develop that skill. And the more you do that, the easier it is to begin to discern when that energy you're feeling is very different.
And then to also be able to discern whether or not it's something that you want to be involved with. You can, even with people in your own family, just not get involved with a particular energy without being nasty or mean. You know, you can be gracious but detached and unwilling to participate in whatever the game is.
Yeah, but it takes practice. And, and when you do that, your ability to manifest the good in your life goes up. . So, you know, in addition to just the energy piece that we sensitive people have struggled with, you know, we also want to be able to manifest. You can't manifest if your energy is a mess.
So true. So we want to get rid of all that stuff.
[00:10:29] Rose: So, where would you suggest people start? I mean, I know highly sensitive people are very, you mentioned, people pleasers, which is quite high on our list. How would you suggest people start to, I guess, help with that? in a way that serves them and others?
Well, I, I think that sensitive people need to get a handle on the cultural piece. . And I think they need, I, I would suggest that sensitive people stop thinking of themselves as people pleasers. as much as, I might call it, let's say energetically responsive or something like that. Find a different word because it's so, uh, it, it demeans us.
[00:11:13] Maria: But anyway, I would, uh, try to understand the cultural issue. Yeah, because once you know the cultural issues, you can see when someone, like every culture, creates specific energies. They approve of certain identities that they approve of and promote. So if your energy is different, you will get rejected.
But it’s also in understanding them, you understand when and where you can work with people because you understand where they're coming from. So you have a perspective, and I want you to develop an understanding. It becomes an inner resource. So you can get a reality check for yourself. And that's important because otherwise, you keep relying on what other people think.
Yeah. Because you don't think the way other people do, you don't have a way of dealing with that. So once you have a way of dealing with that, things start to fall into place. Your understanding of the way the world works falls into place. And you can begin to look at what you're doing, uh, differently.
And the other thing, energy practices, we do gratitude manifesting, and quantum healing and the magic of joy program. Uh, I think quantum healing's very important because it does release. Genetic and inherited belief systems, which we all have, and it does make it easier for you to pull your energy back in.
I do have a practice of always pulling my energy in and keeping it in and then trying to be conscious about what I do with that is something else that I do that I recommend intention is also extremely constructive. For instance, that would be a way for you to basically set a boundary in terms of what you'll be involved in.
So that can be something that you can use as well. So there's a variety of different practices around energy, uh, that you can do that can help you shift your energy from where you are right now, whatever that happens to someplace where you feel like you're using your energy very productively in a way that benefits you and other people.
So it's the combination. If you just try to work on the energy piece, just do gratitude. You're, you're missing the cultural piece. And so, uh, setting, uh, boundaries can become sort of a personal thing. Yeah. You know, I'll be setting my boundary here with this person, but not with that. It comes too personal.
Whereas when you understand the cultural piece, you're taking a more informed, constructive position around your boundaries, and you have a better understanding of why, and it's not just personal. And that can help when you say no to someone because it's not coming from someone.
[00:13:51] Rose: that makes so much sense.
And I’m sure being a sensitive person helps not to feel that personal coming from the personal part of ourselves. And, yeah, that's a great way of reframing it. And you talked about quantum healing. Can you share a little more about how that works for people who don't know?
[00:14:13] Maria: Well, I love quantum healing.
I've trained in it. It accesses, uh, the theta frequency, which is considered universal love, uh, and it's able to, Address or connect with, uh, beliefs in the subconscious and directly change those. And there is a process called meditation to do that. And so in the magic of joy, we do that around a lot of topics and, uh, address beliefs, but we also try to activate.
[00:14:44] Maria: Energies that perhaps would never have access to because quantum healing will let you do that. And, uh, it's, it's wonderful for that because our experiences will activate specific energies. Uh, you could be someone who's never experienced joy. So how are you going to activate joy? Well, we can activate it through quantum healing.
Confidence would be another. Self-value might be another one. So if you don't have an experience, we can't activate that through quantum healing through the theta frequency. . So it's lovely. And it's very direct, and I think, you know, you can meditate for a long time, and that will do wonders for you.
[00:15:24] Maria: But when, and I've been, I've practised transcendental meditation for many, many decades. It's great. It works more on the alpha frequency. And a lot of me, meditation does, which is more for stress relief and relaxation. Whereas, uh, the theta frequency goes more inside the subconscious to release, uh, beliefs and, or it can remove all sorts of things.
Some people use it to improve their health, which is interesting.
[00:15:52] Rose: How do you get to the theta level? Is it through meditation? it is
[00:15:58] Maria: a process where, you, you access the theta level, through meditation, through a little journey. We take, we, we, we do, uh, that meditation within the program, and we do it as a group.
And, uh, so we go through this process of accessing it, the, the frequency. And, uh, then we make a request to the universal, uh, life force for something. And then we allow that to take place and witness it. And then, basically, the change has occurred. And generally, unless there's another block, the change does occur.
And sometimes it's like peeling an onion, you know, you'll release one thing, and then you'll see that there's something else to release, and that's fine. That's the way it should. Uh, but it's very effective. I've been amazed for myself and for others how beneficial it is. And how
[00:16:52] Rose: How many years have you done this for Maria?
[00:16:56] Maria: Only a couple. I love it. I think it's wonderful. I've been trained in Reiki, also. Okay. Yes. And Reikis is great for relaxation. It will make you feel wonderful, but there are very few things. And I use the, uh, frameworks around culture myself. There are very few things that, uh, I think equal. I mean, it could be something I don't know, but I think there are very few things to equal quantum dealing for cleaning.
The baggage that you've inherited. I love it for that. Mostly because the rest is more easily resolved with things like therapy. Yes. But you, something like that, you know, your present life can be resolved with therapy, but I think some of the past life, and the genetic kinds of, uh, healings, uh, therapy wouldn't address that.
[00:17:43] Maria: So I like, quantum healing for, for clearing that out. And, I have found it to be very effective.
[00:17:49] Rose: It sounds amazing. And I love how you bring up the inherited blocks and things because I think that's something many people aren't aware of. There are so many inherited beliefs and blocks within us.
So to have a powerful modality, like quantum healing, that's very, yeah, it must be amazing. It.
[00:18:11] Maria: Yeah, I love it.
[00:18:12] Rose: Can you talk a little bit more about the inherited beliefs in blocks and things?
[00:18:20] Maria: Well, I mean, you do have a, you know, when you're born, you do, you are born into a particular family with a history and that history is part of your history.
And so, whatever the beliefs or traumas of your family history, they're part of you and your energy. And, uh, and sometimes, you know, the past can have, uh, be found in you genetically. So, for instance, people who have, been, let's say, in a war or some other kind.
, violent event. They may have PTSD, and PTSD can be inherited. In my case, I inherited a genetic capacity. Capacity. Well, uh, uh, anyway, I am genetic because I get blood clots for genetic reasons. I don't know if it's a capacity, but anyway, yeah. So, you know, you can inherit this. My father had it, and its friends in the family.
And so, there are many things that we can inherit through our family's, uh, story of our family's history. I mean, certainly the traumas around, uh, you know, whether it's racism or, you know, the Holocaust and those things, they leave an energetic trace and sometimes we can be frozen. Uh, you know, it could be, you know, that you don't want to enjoy life because of the trauma in your family.
And you feel bad that perhaps they had trauma, but you're not having one. And you feel like you should hold back from enjoying life. Those kinds of things come up for many people. And so you want, you do want to release that. And, one of the nice things about what I'm healing is that those family members, when you're recovering on yourself or when an individual is doing their healing, any family member who would be open to healing also gets healing as well.
So it's almost like you're sending the energy backwards. Uh, and those people who are recept. Energetically in the past can receive it as well. So you're doing a service to release the wounds of the past when you're doing it. I love that. And that's, that's a gift.
Yeah. The inherited family.
[00:20:33] Rose: Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Then the inherited stuff makes so much sense because people might have blocks within themselves but don't know where they came from. So it makes sense that it's inherited, even if you're not aware of something, you may have PTSD from something that's happened in the past to ancestors, and it makes so much sense.
[00:20:58] Maria: There are things people have going on with them, like maybe an addiction or alcoholism, and they blame themselves when it's inherited. Yeah. And I think people get to have a lot of shame around that when they don't realise that it's not their character. You know, it's always somebody's character, or someone's a bad person, and the judgement is so negative around these things.
When something else is going on, and that's, it's not particularly helpful.
[00:21:24] Rose: I'm sure. Just having that awareness would be a huge step for moving forward and moving out of that.
[00:21:31] Maria: Yeah. It's a relief to know. Well, you know, I inherited this.
Yeah. I have to deal with it, but I'm not this bad person.
[00:21:41] Rose: Exactly. So. Do you have any more tips around reframing specifically for sensitive people?
[00:21:55] Maria: Well, when it comes to reframing, I'm always looking to learn something I didn't know. Yeah. I'm always looking to connect it with reality.
So, if someone tries to frame something in a way that has nothing to do with reality, that's, you know, that's important to notice and understand. So I'm always trying to bring a reframe back to reality. Because when we work from reality and use our energy from reality, that will be healthier and more constructive.
So that makes life easier. And I'm always looking to find the systemic issue that maybe showing up that I wasn't aware of. So it's always a, I'm always looking for that opportunity to learn something. Mm. And, anytime I can discover something, discern something that I didn't know. That’s always important to me.
So I place a high value on using reframing for discernment. Because I think that's one of the areas where people are sensitive people because we don't connect with a culture that well we're a little bit weak. You know, the more discernment you have, the more understanding about how things work, even better perhaps than people who aren't sensitive and do connect with culture.
You're, you're much stronger then. And you can use this learning to stand your ground in a very constructive way and feel confident about it because you know you have your whys. Yeah. So I'm always trying to add to my understanding of the whys, and I use reframes, as one, just one way to, to then.
Be able to operate from a more grounded, uh, honest, uh, honest way. So, mm, I'm always looking to create inner strength.
[00:23:53] Rose: I love that. And I love how you bring the fun and the joy into the reframing.
[00:24:01] Maria: Well, you know, when you do this a lot, uh, it becomes interesting because you can start to play and you can start to, gently suggest a reframe to somebody who might be missing something and, you know, you can, you can start to play, but you want to always do it from a gracious place.
Yes. So you have to do sort of the heavy work. And it's a little bit heavy sometimes. And when you do that enough, and you feel clearer, you know, you can start playing with it, and that's a better feeling. Yeah. You can find gentle ways of encouraging people to think differently, perhaps.
Mm. Mm. I love that. Well, I notice, you know,
[00:24:48] Rose: I've loved, I've loved this topic today, Maria. Thank you for everything you've shared, and before we wrap up, I have a question that I love to ask all of my guests. When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?
[00:25:05] Maria: Okay. Well, the first thing I try to do is a pause.
And I try to see what needs my attention. So, it can be anything. But, the first thing I do is I try to look at what it is I need to take a look at. And, if I'm overwhelmed, there are times when I just have to keep going. You just have a lot on your plate, you know, certainly with COVID and all of that, many people have just had to keep going despite overwhelm, but sometimes you can ask yourself, well, I mean, is there something I'm paying attention to that I can let go of?
Is there something I'm involved with that I can let go of? That is somebody else's work to be doing somebody else's emotional labour, perhaps mm-hmm, you know, those are the kinds of questions you can ask about overwhelm. And I also like to slow my pace if I can slow down and take things one step at a time because once you become overwhelmed and reactive, that takes up energy.
Yeah. So when you slow down, you can pay more attention to what you're doing, which can help you get out of being overwhelmed. So I do like to do that, but I'm always looking to see if there's something I need to attend. Or learn something about sometimes, you know, being overwhelmed. The distraction is something that needs your attention.
It's part of this journey of becoming stronger and looking for opportunities. And that is always, I think, a good thing. And over time, you know, it does work. You eventually become much stronger. I love that
[00:26:42] Rose: wonderful, wonderful advice. Thank you so much. And I'm going to be sharing all of your links in the show notes, and I really encourage anyone who can relate to everything.
Maria has talked about going and checking out the wonderful website, the sensitive evolution today. She has some great programs, including the magic of joy and an incredible library. Of blog materials, and there's so much on there. So I encourage you to go and check it out. Thank you so much, Maria.
It's been lovely talking to you today.
[00:27:21] Maria: It's been lovely talking to you, and thank you for having me bye for now.